I was a new person at the elementary school and did not have a lot of friends. As the years passed I did not fit in with the well to do clicks or the jocks.  So wanting to have friends I turned to the troublemakers and found acceptance.
I also learned how to smoke and drink alcohol.  I found out that kids were afraid of me so I used it to my advantage.
I can tell you that I made mistakes and was mean.  This was the only way I was able to feel accepted.  If I could I would change that part of my life.  Instead of what I chose to do I would have looked for acceptance through my church and looked for friends there. Please dont make the same mistakes.  I deeply regret some of the things I did and life is to short for regrets, and definitely too short to cover up the pain and rejection with alcohol and drugs.  There are phone numbers to call and get help or e-mail me with your feelings; and how to deal with situations.  I would be able to help give a different outlook or choices.  You are not alone and you are loved!!  Find your sunshine and let it shine you are beautiful!