Today we will approach losing a loved one through homicide or suicide. I have experience with one of these by the suicide of my brother. I do not know how I would deal with the homicide of a loved one. I have had a lot of death affect my life and lost a lot of loved ones. I think besides the loss of my father; the most painful was the loss of my brother. I then lost my uncle two weeks after my brother and that was not comprehensible to me. Being in a state of shock when I lost my brother I was not in a place to accept the reality of losing my uncle. He was the closest to me on my fathers side and it was too much for me to bear. At 18 years old I acted out. I drank and partied because it was easier for me to do than deal with the reality of losing my brother.